Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Sorry about my life...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
