I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
