just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
