im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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