That's intense
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
