i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
