GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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