The beer is more important than you right now.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
