he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
