the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
