did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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