Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
