i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
