I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
