How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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