Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
