I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
