I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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