She is in my trunk
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
