After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
