i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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