so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
