Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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