"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
