do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
