So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just high enough for therapy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
