My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
