Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
