god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just want to make out with him forever
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
