Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
