So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
