i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
