Whod you bang
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
