I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
