what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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