Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
