I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
