dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
