sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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