i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
