dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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