If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
