I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
