She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
