pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
