I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
