I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
