Got a toothbrush?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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