so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I touched a dick in church today
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
