It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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